When You Feel All Hope Is Gone – How To Find True Love

Posted by admin | Posted in Love | Posted on 18-09-2010-05-2008


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When You Feel All Hope Is Gone – How To Find True Love

Every single have been there sometime. Me too. My “favourite” moment was always Sundays, when all those happy couples with relaxed grins on their faces were cuddling over brekkie and I had to focus on my paper and discuss the topics in it with myself. And I just knew they have had all morning. Bo ho. It felt unfair!

But even if my heart breaks when I read an email like this, I say “OK, so be single and miserable for the rest of your life! I don’t really care.”

That might sound harsh, but it is actually YOU who have to care. YOU have to rescue yourself. YOU are the one who is going to live your life – and all I can do as an outsider is ask you questions to raise your awareness of how you behave and motivate you to change your attitude. YOU need to do the work yourself. If you do, you will feel better.

Or do you prefer to stay in the state you are in, feeling like a hopeless case? For how long are you planning to feel like ? I am provocative now, to wake you up. Nobody will come and save you, but you! If you want to find true love, you have to stop whining.

I know the dating world can be like a mine field. You fall in love and then he suddenly leaves without a trace, or she tell you “oops, I’m married” or they just turn out to be lunatics. Or – jeez – you turn out to be the lunatic, binge texting some poor person who’s not into you. For sure, you can feel worthless, ugly, crazy all at once. I’ve been there. I know. I felt what you are feeling.

But buddy, we are responsible for our own lives and emotions.

 Let me tell you about something I call “The emotional smorgasbord rule”. It means that everything that happens to us can be sensed in heaps of different ways. The same winter day can be seen as:

-          horribly cold

-          crispy and fresh

-          the first day of the rest of my life

-          just another boring day or

-          a “oh no what did I text him last night” day.

How you see things depends on if you are hangover, just have been kissed or have had a phone call from your mum. Different people see the same thing differently.

You can learn to see things in a way that makes you feel good and brings you forward to your fantastic future.

The “always happy people” are not happier because their lives are so much better. They just SEE life in a smarter way. They look at what they got with a positive attitude. They think “OK, I got rejected, but that’s because there is someone else out there that suits me better”. They think “She never called me as she said she would, so I guess she wasn’t ready”. And they compare this attitude with learning by mistakes. Was it something they did that could have been done better? The happy, successful people are sure they will get lucky one day, they keep on trying hard to get it right. How to find true love? Believe that you will…

If you feel that you are a “hopeless case” I ask you “What do you want?” and “How do you want to be?” Stop describing yourself in a negative way, because that will create you. Start instead describing the perfect you, and create the best person you can be.

We all go through rough times, and if you’re seriously depressed you should seek a professional shoulder. But most people just need to look up at the sun instead of down at the ground and get the happiness started! If you let the optimism in, it will come and say hello.

So stop whining my dear, and start singing of joy. That’s more fun, right? La-la-la-la. 

More info on how to find true love: www.howtofindtrueloveadvice.com

The Love Coach Carolin Dahlman, www.coaching2love.com

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