What is the difference between the love in marriage and love in a friendship? Christian answersare appreciated?

Posted by admin | Posted in Love | Posted on 07-10-2010-05-2008

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Question by more than life: What is the difference between the love in marriage and love in a friendship? Christian answersare appreciated?
christian answers are appreciated please.

i’m 17 years old and learning how to truly love somebody. to me, the only way to love somebody is to serve them, protecting, being patient, giving etc. in a friendship, this is very easily attainable. however in a romantic relationship, emotions get entangled and it is so hard to focus on the true reason why we were created– to do God’s work. but how can one “court” or be married without having those emotions and attractions. what is marriage? how do christians know that that someone is the one God intended for them to be with?

Best answer:

Answer by Royal Racer.. Psalms 119:89
If you can see your “smile” in his eyes…then YES.

Give your answer to this question below!

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Comments posted (21)

Love is a decision you make in your mind. It is not a warm fuzzy emotion your heart produces – your heart pumps blood.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment to love (although, over half of them end in divorce). Friendship lacks this commitment.

The intensity of desire/satisfaction towards the two and the commitment are the difference.

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Love in friendship is less obligatory.

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I don’t think there is a difference. Love is love, whether its your wife, father, child, cousin, best friend or neighbor.

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The best way I can tell you to know if the person is the right one for you is to pray about it, a lot. God will speak to your heart, if after a lot of prayer, you start to feel this person is not the right one for you, listen to that voice, it is God speaking to you. If prayer makes you feel even closer to this person, that is also God’s voice speaking to your heart.

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The level of commitment, the depth of bonding and the seriousness required to protect it.

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The right person for you is the person who sticks with you through all the nuisances in life and look past every flaw you consume. They are the ones who help you evolve into a better person, and they only speak what is the truth. The “right person” is difficult to find, but one day you may find this person and venture into a new journey. For now, it is paramount that you focus on utilizing your life by helping others and establishing an auspicious career by performing impeccably in school.

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You should check out the DVD called, “Decisions, Decisions” by, Todd Friel.

You can search it..
or just go to http://www.wretchedradio.com

It doesn’t only cover your decision on
who should I marry?
but also on,
what career choice should you make?
what sort of house should you buy?
where should I go to college?
etc., etc.

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i think to know whether he’s the “one” God wants you to marry, you must date or “court” for awhile to find out and pray together. On the emotions, thats a personal thing that changes from couple to couple……

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Im a Christian and I honestly wonder the same thing. You dont really know who god intended you to be with. I mean, some people want to wait until marriage for and some dont. And In gods eyes you’re not supposed to have when you arent married, but sometimes thats hard. I dont really see the point in marriage, why cant you just love someone without spending alot of money and getting a paper signed? But,in gods eyes we are supposed to be married. Marriage is just commitment and the right thing in Gods Eyes.. But in our eyes it isnt always the same. If you cant commit to something, there is no point in marriage.

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one is insane..the other makes sense.

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Good question:

Don’t label a ‘crush’ love.

There are three stages of romantic love…

lust… temporary… one to three months….

infatuation…. temporary…. three to seven months….

affection…. lasting.

Never make a permanent or important decision based on a temporary state of mind.

That’s the only rule you should remember.

Marriage is a commitment to love. It is NOT an emotional plea. It is a PROMISE to love someone.

Marriage says… ”I KNOW things will probably get rough…. I KNOW you’ll get sick…. or we’ll have money issues, family problems…..etc…. but I love you so much, I WILL stick it out with you till the very end.

That is marriage. It’s beautiful. It’s a promise to love.

EDIT: Love without knowledge is insecure. Knowledge without love is judgemental. Love and knowledge together is a safe place. When you really love someone and you know them, you are in a safe place.

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Genitalia.

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Marriage is the ultimate extension of friendship. Friendship is commitment “for now”. Marriage is commitment “from now until death”. Marriage allows for far greater intimacy of friendship than is possible outside of marriage. Some of course take the rights of marriage and use them without the absolute commitment, which is just going through the motions, deprived of most of the tremendous potential such intimacy has within God’s plan.

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love in frendship- you will help them and be there for them no matter what.

love in marriage – that and its also the the first person I want to see when I open my eyes in the morning , and the last one when I close my eyes in the evening. And its been like that every day for the past 25 years.

- atheist.

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Love between friends and family is known as agape love. If you are referring to the love of God to man, it is also known as agape love. Agape love, just means the kind of love that is not sexual in nature.

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I am a Christian (albeit not a knowledgeable one) and I believe the emotions that come with love are incredible. I don’t believe marriage and love should be divorced from attractions at all. I think marriage is devoting your romantic life to one other person, and a large part of the rest of your life too. I’ve heard that a marriage is between you, your spouse and God.

To answer your last part, if God intended something, it’ll happen, right? If it doesn’t happen, it wouldn’t happen anyway, at least if He decided everything that would happen at the beginning of physical time.

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The difference is I love my family and friends. I like how I feel when I am around them. I know I can trust them and that they will never intentionally harm me.

I am in love with my husband. The love I feel for him is different. I want to be intimate with him in a sexual way, bear his children and build a life with him and him only. I can have many friends but only one husband.

I was immediately attracted to my husband, he is a hunk even 43 years later, but we dated. No , but I got to really know what was like. We married one year later.

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From what I have learned is when you are of marriage age the dating process is to decide if that person is the one who you are willing to spend the rest of your life with. When dating a person who shares your common goals and similar interests usually makes the relationship run smoother. When you are in a relationship it is ok to have those attractions and emotions God who is love personified made us that way. A marriage is something beautiful and is unselfish. The husband is the head of the family, treats the wife as he treats his own body, and as a weaker vessel, and the wife is in subjection of her husband. 1 John 4:8, Col. 3:14 and many more. This is just a few things there is a ton of information on this subject.

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As a Christian for over half a century, and as a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, now retired, I can say that your question is a wonderful one because it is one that doesn’t appear to be asked very much, and NEEDS to be asked. Please let me refer you to a book written by psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, M.D. back in 1978 entitled “The Road Less Traveled”. This book set all records for a book on the new york times best-seller list, and the first two sections of the book will give you a wonderful answer to your question. I’d try to answer you myself, “in my own words”, but, I’m not a best-selling author, and I doubt I can say it as well as Dr. Peck did, so please let me recommend that book to you, and tell you that you only need to read the first two sections, entitled “Discipline” and “Love”. Don’t try to “speed-read” through the book, and read it over and over as needed. I’ve read it numerous times, and have taught classes on it, and have bought around 6 or 7 copies of it so I’d have a copy anywhere I needed it (at home or the clinic). And he incorporates God in his work thoroughly, but doesn’t quote Scripture. Reading it carefully, you’ll see that in the first part of the book, and then he focuses on the thoughts, emotions and behaviors of “falling-in-love” and loving someone. You’ll be glad you got the book and studied at least those first two sections.

Another wonderful book on the subject was written by Pope John Paul II, and it is entitled “Love and Responsibility”; Ignatius Press, (1981), and reprinted in 1993. Obviously, coming from Pope John Paul II, that book heavily focuses the Christian aspect of loving someone and the romantic and sexual aspects of a romantic relationship. Again, if I were as good an author as he was, I’d tell it to you in my own words, but, alas, I’m not the author he was.

God, as in Jesus our Christ, Bless you.

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Basically, the love in a marriage is when those two people become one and it is no longer you or me, but “us” and “we”. The love in a friendship is a faithful love, that you would not do anything to hurt that person in anyway. You really have to seek God, believe he will answer and you will just know when it is right. It is hard for me to explain because it was just a knowing for my husband and I and things even though there were some against us, they just fell into place so perfectly and the little storms that came against us were not strong enough to tear us apart. We both loved God just the same and God gave us an unconditional love for each other, I am so sorry it is hard for me to find the right words to explain. I would say because God was our common interest and we both had a need for each other it just fell into place. The marriage vows, explain very well what the marriage is all about. The romantic or physical attraction/emotions, are very much a part of the relationship and can hopefully be saved until married (I do understand the struggle of being able to wait until that day and that it is not easy), I cannot be that perfect example for you in that area I am sorry to say, b/c I had children before I completely gave my life to Christ and was in need of His mercy and forgiveness in that area. The main thing I think you need to be aware of is as far as a “romantic relationship”, you want to be sure it is love and not lust. If you read Corinthians 13, you can learn what love is and if it is true love, your motives and his are pure, lust is not love and is often selfish and comes from the wrong motives to fill the “now need” not thinking about the “later” outcome. My advice with all that being said is to continue to seek God for direction, He will answer when you ask with a pure heart and you will know. God is not the author of confusion, and He will give you peace and a sound mind. Be blessed, you are young and I can understand your question at this time in your life…you want it to be perfect and in God’s will. He will give you the desires of your heart if you delight your self in Him. : )

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The Different Kinds of Love Mentioned in the Bible
The Greek language in which the New Testament was written uses several words translated “love.” The first two listed below are found in the New Testament. Understanding their meanings helps us better comprehend God’s expectations of us.

Agapao (verb) is a special word representing the divine love of God toward His Son, human beings in general and believers. It is also used to depict the outwardly focused love God expects believers to have for one another. Agapao (including its noun form, agape) is “the characteristic word of Christianity, and since the Spirit of revelation has used it to express ideas previously unknown, inquiry into its use, whether in Greek literature or in the Septuagint, throws but little light upon its distinctive meaning in the N[ew] T[estament] . . .”

This special type of Christian love, “whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered” (Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, “Love”).

Reflecting the fact that human marriage is modeled after the divine relationship between Christ and the Church, husbands are told to love their wives with this kind of outgoing, selfless love (Ephesians 5:25, 31-32).

This kind of love is perhaps best expressed in Jesus Christ’s statement in John 15:13, “Greater love [agape] has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus Himself perfectly exemplified this kind of love throughout His lifetime, continually giving of Himself and His time and energies to serve others and ultimately offering up His life as a sacrifice for all of humanity. This is the kind of love God wants each of us to exemplify in our lives and particularly in our marriages.

Phileo (verb) means “‘to have ardent affection and feeling’—a type of impulsive love” (Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary, 1995, “Love”). This is the natural, human type of love and affection that we have for a friend and is often defined as “brotherly love.”

In John 21:15-16, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him with the agapao type of love and Peter responded that he had the normal human phileo type of love for Him. Later, after receiving the Holy Spirit, Peter would be able to genuinely demonstrate agapao-type godly love, serving others throughout his lifetime and making the ultimate sacrifice in martyrdom.

Eros (noun) refers to sexual, erotic love or desire.

True love, as explained in the Bible, isn’t focused on oneself and one’s feelings or emotions, but is instead outwardly focused on others—wanting to best serve and care for them. True love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (NIV).

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