Q&A: What is the difference of unconditionally love and conditional love?

Posted by admin | Posted in Love | Posted on 13-09-2010-05-2008

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Question by skycat: What is the difference of unconditionally love and conditional love?
I am sure you hear the term “unconditional” love, but what does it mean? How do we as humans apply 100% love in an unconditional way? How is love not unconditional? What conditions do humans put on love? Is unconditional love a practical teaching?

Best answer:

Answer by Fireball226
for Pisces its easy if theyre sorry when they hurt you. If not then ive got a couple ppl who wont see me again.

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Comments posted (13)

Conditional is when you only love the person when they meet a certain criteria. If they remain, fit, wealthy, young, blonde, When you no longer find them physically attracive it is a conditional basis.
Unconditional is when you love them no matter if they are poor, ugly, fat, disfigured, amputee etc

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Unconditional means to me anyway … with out conditions, loving somebody with out condtion. Meaning there is nothing this person can do that will make you not love them anymore. I dont believe that in a relationship with spouses this is the case there is always something someone can do that will make you not love them ( Never experienced it the other way , so again only speaking from my experience) but I do believe that some people, not all people, but some people can experience unconditional love for their child. That would be the only time in my life I could imagine loving someone that much. Its just a different kind of love really. Their are certian circumstances where a person can never do anything to lose the love of their parent. Im sure there have been people who have committed atrocious crimes yet their mothers still love them… Crazy but true

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I think unconditional love is loving someone on no conditions- meaning that whatever they do, say, or whatever happens, won’t interfere with you loving them.

I think unconditional love might only exist between parent-child relationships. Parents usually love their kids no matter what. All other types of love are conditional; you love somebody but expect them to be a certain way. For example, if your lover one day starting making your life a living hell, hurting you in any way they can, you probably wouldn’t love and value them as much anymore.

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I don’t have any conditions for the love I give. People that have kids love them no matter what even if they kill someone. Did you ever read the book The Velvetten Rabbit. That’s unconditional love. Loving someone when they are at their best and worse. Your basic marriage ceremony is all about unconditioal love. Either love someone fully totally, with your whole heart or then it’s not love.

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I don’t believe in unconditional love because it is unrealistic. Most people have their limit. That limit can change from person to person (your son vs. your best friend) and can seem limitless but it is foolish to believe you can literally do anything all of the time and the love for someone between people will always be there. I don’t care about the philosophical definitions of love, it is an emotion and emotions can change.

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“Unconditional love” simply means love without conditions. It means you love someone no matter what they do, no matter what their failings.

Unconditional love is hard to do. It can sometimes be hard to love someone if they frustrate you, if they change, or if they do something you don’t approve of. Unconditional love is possible, but it is a constant work in progress to choose to keep loving someone, regardless of circumstances.

I think very few people are conscious of putting conditions on their love. But they are often there; most people do not bother to love people who do things that annoy them, or who have hurt them in the past, or whose company they do not always enjoy. All of those are a sort of conditional love–and those are the areas where unconditional love is needed.

I think unconditional love is a great teaching. Like everything else, it is hard for humans to do perfectly–but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Unconditional love makes for the best world; a world in which we don’t hold grudges, we take care of each other, and where people can be secure because they know that being loved does not depend on their performance or on being “good enough.”

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I think that most love comes with conditions….the closest to unconditional would be between a parent and a child…..children can push the absolute limits of love and still stand an almost 100% chance of keeping that love in place. Between all others though, I think theres ALWAYS some condition or circumstance that would break the love bond…..usually when one person loses respect completely for another. I dunno…unconditional love….is it possible (other than with parent/child), that someone wouldn’t have a breaking point? I highly doubt it.

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Yes and it does exist, just not in the way most people think it does. For example, back in the late 90s I heard of a Brazilian couple that fought an alligator who took their 5-year-old son from a bike path in the Everglades (FL). I did not understand how somebody would do this until I started to have kids. Even though these parents did such a brave thing for their son, I bet you they will have serious disagreements and even fight with him on various occasions as he grows up. The key is that no matter what he does, he can always come home and they will be happy that he did. That to me is unconditional love. It is when you are willing to give your life for your love but you are also willing to do the little everyday things for your love. It is conditional love whenever you put a “but” anywhere in the sentence.

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According to wikipedia: Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs.

When we love others without expecting anything in return, or someone loves us despite our shortcommings than that’s unconditional love.

As for what conditions do people put on love – that could be anything!! When you love with conditions then it makes it about you, and not about caring for the other person.

I think unconditional love is a practical teaching. Is it always easy to practice it, no. But people do it. A great woman in recent history comes to mind. Mother Teresa. Whether one is a religious person or not, anyone can see she lived out unconditional love. Mother Teresa helped sick and dying in a very poor area of India. She took care of those people and did so without expecting anything in return. She wanted to give them comfort and peace and she never put herself first. She is a great example of this. On a more individual scale…there are parents across the world that would do anything for their children out of sheer love for them, and many do – without even a thank you.

There’s lots and lots of sources on the web. You should look into it and read whats out there.

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I think that unconditonal love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. Love that is conditional says: “I love you, BUT..”. Unconditional love says: “I love you for who you really are! Period.”.

Conditioned love is seen through emotion. If you wait around for an emotional reaction, that feels like love, then you are choosing to love based on a chemical reaction alone.

Unconditional love is seen through the filter of choice. You literally choose to understand that under the right conditions, you can have love for anybody. You choose to love another, based on the knowledge that we all feel love and are capable of being loving. Therefore, you treat them as you yourself would desire to be treated. You choose to have a connection with all human beings, even before the connection is felt through the emotional charge of a chemical response.
Through unconditional love, you stop judging people and it affects the nature of others to stop judging you through your example. Being unconditionally loving, is about loving yourself unconditionally first. You cannot love another without first knowing love within yourself.

Therefore, if someone is treating you harshly (emotionally, mentally, or physically), then you do what you can to treat yourself the way you would like to be treated, by not allowing relationships that are destructive to self. Sometimes the best way you can unconditionally love somebody, is to empower them to help themselves without you.

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UNCONDITIONAL: I love you, I may not like what you are doing, but it won’t change the fact that I love you.
CONDITIONAL: I will love you if you pay the bills, I will love you if you take care of this, I will love you when you behave as I like…. etc.

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Unconditional:
Not subject to conditions or limitations.

Conditional:
Subject to, implying, or dependent upon a restricting or modifying factor.

Personally, I don’t believe that all people have the ability to love unconditionally. We are all born with free will – therefore we all have a choice whether or not to love someone, and in whatever way a particular person understands it. For example, if a child is raised in an abusive home, what perspective will that child have as an adult about loving someone compared to a child who has not been raised that way? Each person’s outlook on love will be different. I do believe that unconditional love is a practical teaching. We learn it very early in childhood. The way our parents demonstrated love to us is the way we will show it to others, unless there is an objective intervention of some kind (psychological help). Many parents show unconditional love to their children, but not all parents do. My parents coerced me to “earn” their love when I was growing up through a series of means by doing difficult chores (chopping wood every day, mowing their acre of land when needed, cleaning their vehicles inside and out once a week, etc), getting completely perfect grades in school, joining only biblically centered organizations, never talking back or raising your voice for any reason. I think you get the picture. If I did well, then I was good. But I did not receive praise or any kind of compliment. It was just expected. I’ve never heard my mother say she was sorry to me or to anyone in her entire life. I ran away from home at age 15. To this day, my parents do not call or visit me (they have a couple times because they wanted something from me). I have not seen them in over 10 years.

I hope some of this has helped you.

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Once again you had alot of good answers but I liked Sunflowers the best. I love my Husband unconditionally

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