Q&A: How can I reconcile being in love with two women?

Posted by admin | Posted in Love | Posted on 09-06-2011-05-2008

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Question by Jay G: How can I reconcile being in love with two women?
I have been married to a woman for 7 years, and we have a 3 year old child together. About 2 years ago I discovered that I am a Dominant and have pursued a few bdsm relationships. I have recently fallen in love with one woman who has taken My collar. The problem now is although I love My wife, as she is an excellent mother to My son and very good at organizing the household, I am constantly thinking of My slave as she is so obedient, devoted and beautiful. How can I reconcile a vanilla wife and a bdsm slave? Any opinions?

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Answer by Amy Amy
yawn

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Comments posted (13)

Get a divorce and then go play all you want.

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this is not love just manege of life

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My opinion? Therapy. Immediately.
I see you joined us today, just an FYI: we have more than enough trolls here already.

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Sounds like you never dealt with your oedipus complex (as well as many other issues). Had you dealt with it properly, you wouldn’t have sought out a wife to replace your mother. Stop screwing your mother. It’s not nice.

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Grow up. Your wife does not need your chaos. Your child does not deserve it.

Get counseling, now. You are in the process of destroying three lives because of your selfishness. Marriage and parenthood are only healthy with selfless adults involved!

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You sound disgusting. Does your wife know about this (slave)? Your don’t love either of these women you are selfish and want to do what makes you happy only. Nothing you said sounds like marriage or love, what you have is one arrangement on paper and one that’s not. If I were the so-called wife I would take the son and run.

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Wait till you get both women pregnant like I did and pay childs support…woah…talk about a bite in the old kazooty.

Your problem is just beggining. Bail out now!

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wow keep your wife because your not thinking of your kid if she good to you an you got a family why reck the home over a nut many man wish they could have a good wife and your sooooooooooo wrong if it the bedroom tell your wife its time to get kinky aim sure if she as great as you say in taking care of her home she take care of your bedroom needs too if you ask her or told her you wanna a change tell her to dye her hair or wear something diffrent to bed or a porn u going to end up in a really bad place if u get caught losing your kid and wife goodluck

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You discovered this, did you? Then did you also discover that you have some deep rooted issues that need to be addressed and solved. While role playing can be fun in a relationship, it’s not an identity. Your need to dominate women can walk a very dangerous line. You need to find out what is causing you to have this need and fix it. Probably something from your past that needs to be resolved. For your wife’s sake, and your own, you need to get into counseling.

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uh u dont reconcile anything until you are divorced?!
what kinda question is this?? did ur wife know you are cheating??

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I really hate when BDSM people capitalize their pronouns like they’re some kind of god. The Goreans are the worst, but I’m trying to get past that and the fact that I doubt this is a real post and give a serious helpful answer in case it is.

Did you ever pursue some BDSM stuff with your wife? Is this stuff your wife consented to, your messing around with other women, or are you cheating? If you don’t have an open marriage, you don’t get two women – you choose one, and I’d choose the one who bore my child and wore my ring. Not the girl I was having an affair with, in which the passion will fade, too, who likes to play “slave” and wears a collar.

Ideally, you’d have spiced things up in your marriage with some bdsm stuff and not pursued other relationships. My ideal solution would be to drop the other relationship, try to include some bdsm stuff in my marriage – I mean, she might giggle if you wanted to be called “sir” all the time or something, but it would be a rare woman who didn’t want to get kinky at all – and to not take the bdsm so seriously. is just part of life, bdsm is just part of , and the people who consider themselves BDSM lifestylers are just…boring. Don’t be boring.

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grow up, be a God-fearing person, pray a lot to be a better person

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first and foremost, getting married to someone who ISN’T into what you’re into.. that was stupid.. you should’ve seen this coming. haha.

i agree with a few of the people who mentioned getting a divorce. your wife deserves someone who won’t go out and have slaves behind her back. nothing against you or anything, but all i know is that marriage isn’t necessarily about LOVE (surprise surprise).. its about comfortability and commitment. if you’re comfy and cozy with a person, and you feel safe enough to be with them, you can pretty much live with them forever. Love is always a nice addition to the equation, but love alone never works itself out.

So, what i’m really getting at, is that your wife probably wouldnt be tooooo thrilled about your slave situation.. so unless you want a life of headache and misery, i’d suggest letting your wife go out and find a man who won’t f around with other women.

you’ll be okay without her, and she’ll be okay without you.. thats life. people think it doesnt go on, but whatever.

go with your gut.

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