How can you love yourself without being narcissistic?

Posted by admin | Posted in Love | Posted on 10-09-2010-05-2008

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Question by Craig T: How can you love yourself without being narcissistic?
I’m not sure it really makes sense to love yourself. I understand love more as something you have for other people. I can say I like myself well enough, but self-love sounds like egotism to me, and that’s in direct opposition to love(as I see it anyway). It also seems to require some degree of objectivity to be legitimate, and you can’t really have that seeing as there’s an inherent bias.

You don’t need to love yourself to know that you are worthy of love, do you?

Best answer:

Answer by Mr. Fox
Well, I guess it’s about having respect and appreciation for yourself body, mind, and soul. That isn’t narcissistic, as long as you offer the same things to others and don’t exalt your self-worth because of having that self-respect and appreciation. I’m not sure about the second question.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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Comments posted (5)

By loving yourself and not loving the IDEA of yourself.

If you don’t love yourself you cannot love anyone else. You are only able to give as much as you have think about it .. You’re confusing love with selflessness/selfishness I think ..

Real love is the feeling of completeness and being satisfied in that. It is unbiased and unconditional, it is a knowing that .. no death, no fear, no law , no man , no god can touch this.. When you have that for yourself there is no reason there .. Many people love themselves unconditionally but others think these people are vein and narcissistic because they cannot understand how a person could love themselves for the “good” and the “bad”.. You’ll never get anywhere by searching outside of yourself and over thinking .

This is what you’re doing now (try to picture it)

You are a box fully of stuff && Instead of letting that stuff out you are taking things from outside of the box and putting it in and calling it yourself..

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To love yourself isn’t romantic love, its not love in the sense that the world uses, what it means is to Simply know oneself and to accept oneself, all the fragile floors that we try to avoid and dislike. Once we truly accept oneself we can accept those aspects in all other people, that is true enlightenment.

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I think your problem is you’re confusing loving oneself, with being in love with yourself. Love for yourself just means you value your well being, and care about yourself. It means knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are, but you are being humble about them. I think it becomes narcissistic when you stop being humble.
The key here is moderation. Ego is a healthy thing, but in the right quantities… the same for love. Too little or too much leads to problems. Not enough love and no ego creates someone timid. Too much ego, and not enough love for oneself can create a dare devil hellbent on self destruction. Too much love not enough ego creates someone who is a pushover. It is somewhere in the middle where most people fall.
Keep in mind that a person gets the response they want by thinking it. You can’t expect others to think well of you, if you don’t think and act well yourself. I threw this in because acting well plays a part on how others receive you. You can be a nice person, but if you don’t respond well with others (being timid or a pushover) you will less likely get loved in return.
So loving yourself is important, but too much or too little is bad. I hope this has helped you understand why one must love them-self.
CyberNara

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I feel the way you do, it sounds odd. However, the way I see it is that you should “honour” the divine spirit within you as well as in your brother or sister. The God in me acknowledges the God in you. And when you condemn yourself you will also condemn the God in you, so be mindful of acting positively and contructively in all ways.

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It’s not about actually ‘loving’ yourself. It’s more of being comfortable with yourself. I do believe that you must know yourself before you can love others because you’ll always be insecure if you don’t.

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