Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

  • ISBN13: 9780805087000
  • Condition: New
  • Notes: BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed

REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORDARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT?Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen

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Review by Melody for Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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I looked at this book from a different perspective than most readers. I didn’t read it as a person in need of relationship advice. Rather, I read it as a person who has been happily married for 22 years. My question was, how closely did the advice in this book match what I was doing successfully?

A bestseller since 1988, the book is separated into 3 sections:

-the first part talks about how unmet childhood needs can affect your future relationships.

-the second part talks about a marriage that can fulfil your unmet childhood needs in constructive ways.

-lastly, part three is the exercises. Here you’ll be taken through a series of exercises that you can do at home that have been actually used in the author’s practice. They’re easy to do and involve writing.

Well, that’s a rough synopsis that should give you a little bit of a feel as to how the book is set up- and what its about.

So how closely did the advice in this book match what I have been doing all this time to create a successful 22-year marriage? Perfectly- both the book and I promote the idea that you have to work at your marriage to make it work!

And perhaps that’s the best piece of advice of all: find constructive ways to make you marriage better- and that’s one thing this book most certainly succeeds at. Other self-help books I liked include “Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World”.

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Review by S. L. Hale for Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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This book is packed of information and ideas that you’ve never even thought about! There are things that happen in a relationship, the way we act, respond and instigate that we never realized WHY. This book explains it and explains it WELL!I could barely put this book down. Let me just say that I am SINGLE and I bought this book in hopes of helping me figure out why all of my relationships end up being so rocky, dramatical and emotionally draining. I totally understand now!The author explains how our childhood and our relationship with our parents plays an important role in our choosing of partners. I agree with it 100%! It’s very interesting to say the least. The author points out several critical triggers that are crucial in identifying reasons we behave the way we do. He also includes wonderful exercises to assist us to overcome some of our conditional thinking from our “old brains” which would be the imprints in our minds of what we learned when we were young & growing up. Every single and married person alike should read this book. It’s an eye opener and definitely a helping hand to healing and beginning a healthy relationship. Even if you’re currently in a relationship, this book tells you how you can start to change some of the ways you think helping to re-create the romance and love you once shared. I highly recommend this book. You WONT be disappointed!

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Review by for Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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My relationship of 16 months has been faltering for 8 months. Three weeks ago my girlfriend told me she “didn’t want to be with me anymore.” I was devastated. I’ve spent the last three weeks living and re-living all the events of our relationship and have talked to friends for hours ad-nauseum.The relationship started out so well. We had been acquaintences for 8 years. Friends for 2 1/2 years and finally entered into a relationship 16 months ago. The stages of our relationship eerily followed the book. My pain, confusion and loss was all-consuming. I could find no understanding within myself, no peace and no answers. Then one of my friends recommended I read this book. I had gone through a “self-help book” craze 9 years ago for another issue I was dealing with. Although I did find some answers after reading so many books I ended up overdosing on them and haven’t read one since. I was not enthusiastic at all about revisiting the “self-help” area again. But I opened the book and read the first couple sentences and knew immediately…instinctively…that this was the book that would be able to help me understand many of the issues we must face in relationships….why we are attracted to certain people and not others…what happens to relationships once you get comfortable with the other person and you begin to lower your “guard”…why many of the things you do to try to “fix” your partner actually do more to drive the partner away.As other readers have noted, this book will not be effective for immature readers. Although I am a bit wary of psychologists that embrace a single theory to explain behavior, I found the rest of this book valuable and directly applicable to my life.Thank God for this book. It has enabled me to have my first good night sleep in three weeks. Even if your partner lacks the maturity to absorb, understand and apply the message in this book, it will give -you- the tools you need to ensure a better relationship in the future. Thank you Dr Hendrix for writing this book!

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Review by for Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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Let me start by saying I am not a self-help book devotee. That said, this book has revolutionized my relationship with my husband and taken it to a new level. BUT… I recommend this book for only those seriously committed to REALLY wanting an honest, soul-fully deep relationship. This is not a quick fix book of easy answers. If you are looking for a book to tell you how to fix your partner or get them to be what you want them to be, don’t buy this book. To make the concepts in Getting The Love You Want work, it takes a tremendous amount of gut wrenchingly honest introsepction, humility, willingness to do things completely differently, and total selflessness. It’s hard work.But if you do what this book suggests, your life will be forever changed … in all your relationships. This book has changed my life and enriched it beyond belief. I read the book – my husband didn’t. Although he was not a proactive participant in the process, his life has been equally impacted and we are getting all we ever hoped for from each other.

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Review by Andreas Fellner for Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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In this book, Harville Hendrix introduces the imago model, which he developed as a tool for understand relationship problems.
He details the theory which is mainly based on psychoanalytical theorizing. His approach is quite interesting to read as you will discover the “roots” of some of your marriage problems and will gain greater insight.
But insight alonen won’t solve your problems. Therefore, the author presents 16 exercises, which you can do together with your spouse to work on your relationship. These are highly interesting and revealing.
What’s really missing in this book is an integration of modern research findings into the dynamics of relationships. So read this book, but also read the book by J. Gottman: “The 7 principles for making marriage work”

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